k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
