From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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