Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
