i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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