you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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