I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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