I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this will be a night to untag.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
