Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
