you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
