She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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