dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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