i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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