Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
