I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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