I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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