she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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