I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize