Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We have so much sex to catch up on
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
