also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
