Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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