I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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