they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
