i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
