sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
