Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
