So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
