I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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