in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
