A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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