I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
