Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Randomize
