Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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