sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
