So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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