Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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