Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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