'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize