Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
