It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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