I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
