I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
