dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize