at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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