exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
