I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
