Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
this is an emotional support booty call
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
