Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
