he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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