Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize