I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
