Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
