Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
