Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
