Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
