I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude. I can hear the air.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
