I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
