why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
