Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
