i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize